Evangelion Goes To Surfers Paradise, Australia
by garrickcharter
Summary: A humorus story ( i hope :) This has nothing to do with the Television Series, just has characters from the show on holiday.


Evangelion goes to Queensland

Chapter 1: Arrival

Short, stabbing blasts of noise awoke me. It was my alarm clock. It read 4:00am, which signified it was time to arise and get ready. Misato would be coming in ½ an hour to pick me up. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to assist me in waking my self up, I drank down the chilly water; it hit my stomach and it washed the drowsy-ness away. I re-checked my bag to make sure I had everything, and I did. After zipping up the bag, I proceeded to lug it down the stairs to my front door. I left it there and ran back upstairs to get changed. 

I was just buttoning up the last few buttons on my shirt, when a car horn sounded from outside, it was a white mini-bus with Misato at the wheel. I took my bag and walked down the driveway towards the bus. It was pouring with rain. _Like angels dancing in the moonlight._ I laughed at my self for thinking so very metaphorical. Misato was waving gently at me through the window. She used her hand in a thumbing motion towards the back of the bus. _Bags in the back_ I thought. After heaving my bag into the small luggage compartment in the back, I slammed the large door down, then jogged to the front of the bus and opened the side door. In the passenger seat, next to Misato, sat Auska. _My name is Auska! I'm so grand! THE most important human being alive! _I thought. The way she was sitting, as if she was atop a giant throne. 

"Jeezus,"I muttered before I got in. In the 1st set of 2 seats, sat Rei and Kaworu, behind Rei was an empty seat. Obviously mine. Next to the un-occupied seat was Shinji. I said "Hi" as I proceeded down the isle. Only Kaworu and Shinji bothered to reply. I plonked myself down on the rather hard seat.

"Is everybody ready?" Asked Misato.

"Looks like it." I replied.

Misato turned and grinned towards Shinji, Kaworu and I and said; 

"Now we have to make sure our hormonally rampant boys don't get too wild!"

Auska giggled and they returned to sitting straightforward. We raised our middle fingers at Misato's turned back, as the bus lurched forward and roared off towards Sydney Airport.

****

It was an hour to the Airport from where I lived and we'd been traveling for about 40 minutes now. I was getting bored so I thought I'd have a go at trying to start a conversation. Auska and Misato already seemed occupied, merrily singing along to a popular song on the radio. Rei was in a bit of a hard spot to have a chat, being directly in front of me. Besides, she looked asleep. Or in a coma. Kaworu had his nose in a book, from what I could make out; it was 'The Bourne Supremacy' by Robert Ludlum. No point interrupting him. Shinji was my last option. I turned sideways and glanced up and down the contours of his face. 2 small plugs were in his ears, with a wire leading down towards his hands, which were holding a Walkman. I sighed and passed off the conversation idea as a waste of time. I jutted my arm in the corner of the window and rested my head in my hand, staring out at the rain-soaked urban landscape.

A sign passed by, it read 'Sydney Airport: Domestic terminal. Turn left.' Misato caught sight of it as well and drove the mini-bus into the long-term car park. It took about 5 minutes to find a parking spot, and we found one at the far end of the car park. The bus engine cut off and Misato jumped out. Auska did the same. Kaworu stood up and tapped Rei on the shoulder to wake her from her sleep. She rubbed her eyes, yawned, and almost fell when trying to stand up. Kaworu assisted her by taking her hand and leading her off the bus. Shinji remained still. I leaned forward and looked at his face. His eyes were closed and his mouth hung open slightly. I pressed the stop button on his Walkman and said:

"Shinji! SHINJI! We have arrived! Wake UP!" No Effect.

I blew on both my hands, and then dove them into his hair, ruffling it around. His eyelids jittered and opened. He looked around as if to get his bearings.

"I don't feel like school today…" he said.

Misato heard and laughed. 

"Shinji," I said, "Shinji, we are at the Airport. We are flying to Surfers Paradise in Queensland! Activate your memory processors!"

He gave me a stone-faced look, then broke into a smile and raised his thumb in the air to give a 'thumbs-up.' I waited for him to get out of his seat and get down the isle a bit before I got up.

****

With our bags by our sides, notably Auska, with her 3 bags, waited for the shuttle bus to take us the last kilometer to the terminal. Typically, the shuttle bus was 10 minutes late. We were the only people on the bus, and I could just make out the sunrise over Auska's bags, which were stacked on my legs. "Its chivalrous for the man to take the lady's bags" she said, when she started loading them onto my defenseless, submissive figure. Kaworu was smirking. After Auska had them all crushing my body, she gave me a small peck on the cheek and made her way to her seat.

"Now doesn't that make it all worthwhile?" Misato said to me. I gave her a sarcastic look. She grinned and gave a peck on my other cheek.

"Is it worthwhile now?" Misato questioned with a smile. I guess due to my lack of physical movement, I had nothing to do but take the situation submissively. Someone could start hacksawing off my toes, but I wouldn't be able to resist. I remained in the same position of the short trip to the terminal, simply for the reason that I couldn't move.

After getting our bags checked and our tickets processed, Misato suggested we spend the next 20 minutes in the Waiting Lounge. When we were all seated at the small coffee table by the window, Misato said she'd go and get us a few drinks. We all watched as she went to the catering counter. 5 orange juices were placed on a tray in front of Misato. She started waving her arms around a bit, and then she started shouting quietly at the hostess behind the counter. All we could make out was Misato saying 'Beer' and the Hostess saying 'Not at this hour.' Misato seemed to give in and said something quietly. A 6th orange juice was placed on the tray.

****

An announcer's voice sounded out over the loud speaker a little later on. The dis-embodied voice said: 

"1st Call. 1st Call for flight 671. Flight 671 to Coolongatta." 

"That's us!" Exclaimed Auska. We all rose from our seats and proceeded towards gate 6. One by one we handed in our tickets, keeping our seat numbers in our heads. I was 10a. We were flying on a small plane, I overheard Misato say 737, but I wasn't sure. There was 3 seats either side of the isle, the ticket attendant told us. We walked down a connecting ramp towards the plane; a hostess was there to usher people in. We had to wait a little bit, due to a line of people, all trying to find their allocated seat. Ours was towards the back of the plane, I had the window seat, apparently Kaworu was next to me. Shinji had the isle seat. Auska was in front of me and Misato was next to her. Then Rei. I plunged my hand into the pocket on the seat and pulled out the In-Flight magazine. They were always really pointless reading. I opened to the contents. I was overwhelmed with excitement after reading the contents: _Salt: An epicures delight_, _The History of Pockets _and _Crochet hats: A DIY Guide._ Back into the seat pocket it went. 

I took a stretch and accidentally flipped the table lock off, it fell into my lap and, in surprise, I slammed my elbows into the side of the plane and into Kaworu's side. My funny bone on the elbow that met terminal velocity with the plane walls was struck. I yelped in pain and lurched forward, clutching it. After calming down, I sank down into the seat. There being no more pressure on the table, it flipped back up, greeting my chin with a nasty crack sound. It also seemed my tongue was too far forward, and the impact of the table had snapped my jaw closed. On to my tongue. I ran my finger across my throbbing tongue and when I brought it out, it was stained with red. Kaworu had noticed the blood pouring from the side of my mouth, like a freshly fed vampire. I held my hand under my mouth to cup the blood. Kaworu offered a handkerchief. Misato turned around to say something, but didn't quite manage too. She looked at my face, being covered with my hand, blood tricking between the fingers.

"I won't even ask." She said while shaking her head.

The force of the speed during the take off made my stomach hide behind my liver. I just braced myself. Shinji was doing the same. Kaworu was enjoying the experience. _He must be a speed freak_. Then I looked a little closer. He had his hand on Shinji's leg. _Well, that explains the smile. _It looked as if Shinji hadn't noticed; he was too concerned in keeping the contents of his stomach where they belonged. _Oh how nice, he's helping Shinji get through the experience of take off…_ Misato, I noticed, was handling the take off fine, so was Rei. I couldn't see Auska. But I heard her. _Now I gotta live with the smell of vomit for an hour and a half._ I just sighed. When we were high up enough, the plane banked to the left to point us toward Queensland. The seatbelt light clicked off. Shinji whipped out his Walkman. Before he could connect himself, I asked:

"What you listening to Shinji?"

"Huh? Oh! Chicane!"

"Really! I quite like his music! What's your favorite song?

"Offshore." He then plugged up his ears.

Kaworu looked at me, then down at my feet and smiled. 

"We really must wear baggier pants next time we fly." He commented. I looked at my feet. My end of my pants had lifted up so that a good deal of skin was showing. It looked ridiculous. Kaworu had the same problem and so did Shinji. We both looked at Shinji. He gave us an expression like some one has just heard their name in a conversation. He glanced down and realized the problem. Simultaneously, we all stood up, adjusted the pants then sat down. I sat down too fast. It took a little while for me to realize what happened, but my face was still locked in a look of silent, excruciating pain. I took a large breath, stood up, took another one, and then sat down carefully. No one was any the wiser. Good. I'd rather not have people with the knowledge that I just turned my male bits into a paste-like substance. It felt like I was about to vomit. What a way to start a holiday.

*****

It was about half an hour later, when the hostess' wheeled the catering trolley down the plane, handing out boxes of food. When they reached the row I was in, Shinji was given the 3 boxes and he handed them out to us. I looked at the cover of the box. It read: "Breakfast: Selected Australian Cuisine, prepared by our catering expert: Neil Perry." He had signed his name. What a sod. I opened it, curious to find what was described as Australian cuisine. I found a box of 'Just Right' cereal, some UHT milk, a tea bag, a plastic cup and some orange juice. _Very Australian_ I thought. I draped the tea bag into my cup and had some hot water poured into it. Adding the milk, then stirring in the sugar followed. I took a small sip. _One problem with Airplanes_, I thought, _is that there isn't a window you can open to spit out the god-awful tea. _For the feeling of having a cup of boiling water perched over my genitalia, especially after my previous incident with the flip-up table, meant I had to finish it off. To kill the taste, I though it might me worthwhile to have the cereal. 

By the time Shinji, Kaworu and I had finished our cereal; we had only our orange juices left. We drank them at the same time. All in one go. Kaworu reached down his shirt and felt around. As he was doing so, he explained to me that he had a beautiful neck pendant and he wanted to show me. After more tapping around of his chest, something clicked. 

"Oh yeah! Those airport guards took it off me, because it had a 'sharp point." He said the 'sharp point' bit sarcastically. I grinned.

Rei was looking rather absent, so I leant over Kaworu and inserted my head between Misato and Rei's headrests. Rei kept staring straightforward. 

"Looking forward getting to Surfers Paradise?" I asked Rei.

"Yes." It was a stone cold, uninterested answer. I decided to persist.

"Think you're going to enjoy yourself?"

"Yes." She answered in the same tone of voice.

"Do you like the beach?"

"Yes." Same again.

I was getting suspicious. I don't think she is even listening. Time for a test.

"What's the name of the apartments we are staying at again?"

"Yes." Thought so. I retreated back to my seat. Shinji looked funny. Almost as if he hadn't had a breath for ages. I followed the shape of my arm; down to here my hand was located. I realized that I had my hand in Shinji's crotch, in order to support myself from falling during the conversation with Rei. I snapped it away and apologized.

"It's ok," Shinji squeaked, "I don't intend to have kids anyway…" I thought it best not to say anything.

****

"Err…This is your pilot speaking. We will be landing in Coolongatta in several minutes. We have just begun our decent. For all people traveling to Surfers Paradise, the bus will be waiting at the Airport front entrance. Thankyou and we hope you enjoyed your flight. For those who didn't…Well...Sod you." 

After the pilot had finished insulting, I looked out the window. We were slowly getting closer to the 'ice-shelf' like layer of clouds. Misato was re-applying her lipstick and I set to my 'alerting Shinji' procedure. I blew on my hands as we plunged into the icy white floss of the clouds. I could see the Airport. It was a small one, nothing like the one at Sydney. I braced myself for landing. And I was happy I did. The plane bounced and swerved, as it skidded down on the tarmac. Everyone began standing up, one the stewardess gave the signal, and so I did the same. We all shuffled down the small isle and upon reaching the aircraft door, we were greeted by a blast of hot air. My long black pants were not suitable here. Way too hot. I asked Misato if I could get changed quickly after we get our bags. As Kaworu and Shinji were wearing almost identical pants, (Misato referred to us as brothers, mostly due to this fact) I suggested that they get changed as well. After walking down the stairs from the plane, on to the tarmac, I had to save Auska from falling flat on her face. Her ankle twisted as she put a clumsy foot down. Luckily for her, I noticed and saw she was about to fall. I took a flying step and grabbed her shoulders. She turned. I was expecting a word of thanks, but instead got a 'Hands off! Jerk!' and a slap in the face. I rubbed my stinging flesh and plotted revenge…

It too several, long rotations of the conveyor belt carrying the bags for everyone to locate theirs. Auska dumped her stuff at Shinji's feet and demanded that he 'guard it with his life.' She then ran off towards the ladies room. Kaworu headed towards the gents to get changed. Misato and Rei followed Auska. _The time for revenge was at hand!_ Followed by Shinji's curious eyes, I picked up Auska's bags and returned them on to the conveyor belt, along with the next flights gear. Shinji's eyes still shouted that look of 'what the f*** are you doing?' I walked over to him and said in my best gangster voice; 

"You ain't seen nothin!" I then lightly slapped his cheek a few times and shot a conspiring smile at him. _Mission: Successful _I thought, as I proceeded to the change rooms, while whistling the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 

Zipping up the fly on my shorts in the change room, I could hear Auska's scream. I also caught 'You are DEAD SHINJI!' So did Shinji. He looked at me in fear. I smiled and said I'd owe him a favor. Kaworu suggested a night in bed with a laugh. Shinji and I exchanged nervous glances. 

****

  
It turned out that I'd owe Shinji a few things. His body was pretty much black and blue when we found Auska's 'misplaced' bags. Misato had changed herself into her 'summer wear.' Cut-off jeans and a skimpy top. She certainly turned a few heads on our short walk to the bus. I was happy with my simple 3 quarter shorts and shirt with the 'Bubblegum Crisis 2040' logo on the left nipple. Certainly didn't stand out too much in the contrast of Kaworu's purple Hawaiian shirt. Shinji was trying to cover up the fact that he was cowering to one side of Misato. Whenever he made eye contact with Auska, she returned a fiery blast of a nasty look. Shinji just grimaced. I swear he was just about to latch on to Misato's leg, like a frightened child. Carrying my bag, Rei's bag (which I offered to take) and Auska's handbag in my teeth (which I was encouraged to take, with the threat of: 'If you don't, I'll make damn sure you'll never be able to take a piss again!') Shinji and Kaworu seemed to have been encouraged the same way. I wondered what part of their anatomy was to be removed from their bodies if they refused to carry Auska's bags. After some horrible mental images involving long strands of thick rope, a chainsaw, some lemon and some boiling water, I decided it wasn't worth thinking about. I moved to a fantasy, while where were loading our bags onto the bus, about how much flesh I'd be able to carve off Auska with an electric carving knife. Or what radius the splat would be when I took Auska to 'see the view' from the top of our apartment building. I also felt horribly guilty, after seeing how pain-stricken Shinji's walk was. When we were finding our seats on the bus, I apologized once more and offered if he'd enjoy hitting me as a small amount of compensation. He refused, but said he'd think of something.

I took a seat next to Misato. She had a really nice perfume on. As an off thought, I wondered if she was carrying her pistol. Then Auska's aggressive nature returned to the threshold of my thoughts. After seeing Shinji, myself and Kaworu's bodies strewn about in sizable piles of blood, riddled with holes, while Auska blew on the end of Misato's emptied .45 Pistol painted it self violently across my mental canvass. I now hoped Misato didn't bring her pistol. But boy did Misato smell nice. I took it all in. So did another part of me. After uncomfortably crossing my legs, the driver stated that the bus is about 40 minutes away from Coolongatta. Entertainment options. Have a chat? _No, no. Tried that before_. Enjoy looking at the seaside houses along the way? _Hmm…Optional._ Take in the view of Misato? _Bingo!_ Every while in a few, I'd glance towards the left window, and then look at Misato when she wasn't looking. I got bored of this quickly; besides, I needed to 'cool off.' Out came my book: 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' by Phillip K. Dick.

****

I was pulled out of the world of human-like replicants and Blade Runner police units by the driver's voice. 

"All people staying at the Moroccan Apartments, this is your stop!" He said into his microphone. We were staying at the Moroccan. After collecting our bags, I stared up at the large white building that contained our apartment that we were going to occupy for the next week and a half. It was white; the verandas gave the building a 'wavy' look by the way they were shaped. Atop the building was a dome shaped structure, not dis-similar to those 'onion-topped' buildings you find in Russia. The bus roared past us and down the main stretch of road, bustling with life, as people came from the parallel beach into the shops and vice-versa. We walked into a circular driveway, centered by 3 large pots streaming water into the air. We reached the glass doors. As they opened, the cool, air-conditioned lobby was a welcome feeling, especially due to the humidity and blistering heat outside. Misato tended to the desk; in order to get our keys and book-in. She asked us to take our bags to the porterage area. We piled them onto the trolley and a man wearing a white suit and a fez wheeled them off into an elevator. Misato was taking a little time, so in a 5 abreast formation, we walked back outside and over to some steps to check out the pool. It was lagoon shaped, the bottom and the sloping entrance covered with sand to give a 'beach' feel to it. The water was a light tropical blue nearer to the shallow end and became more turquoise as it got deeper. It was tempting enough to simply charge in as I was. But I resisted and decided to wait. Seems like the rest of the gang felt the same way. As we marveled at this beautiful, palm tree surrounded pool, Misato joined us. 

"Now that we are all booked in, what would you guys like to do?" Asked Misato.

In synchronization, we all pointed and said; 

"Pool." Misato raised her eyes to the heavens and said; 

"Well, after that trip I feel like a beer…"

****

We were all seated, rather annoyed, in a modern, street level bar. _The need for a beer outweighs the need of the many_ I thought. Misato downed her beer at an alarming rate and in a semi-masculine gesture, dragged the skin of her arm across her moist mouth. The straw in my ginger ale and bitters, my own invention, sat limp, resting on the left corner of my mouth. At 5-second intervals, I took a small suck on the plastic and the cool liquid washed over my tongue and down my throat. The heat was sand-papering the back of my neck. Kaworu poured some water into his cupped hand and splashed it over his face and hair. It began to slide down the strands of hair, pause for a moment, then plunge downward towards the table. It looked un-nervingly attractive. Misato was watching as well. She shifted in her chair a little, and then returned to her beer. I turned my torso around to look outwards into the tourist-filled area. It was actually quite a pleasant area, filled with clothes shops and interesting looking people from all over. Not to say there wasn't a light sprinkling of sleaze. I was looking forward to seeing some of the nightlife, not that I am a clubby person, but the atmosphere draws me. Beautiful lights and people having a good time. One thing though, the beach always radiates sex. There were a few prostitutes around, but only a few. Sex shops littered the side alleys, but as I knew, people come here to have a good time and that's fair enough in my books. Everyone at the table had a share of the last few nuts and we stood up to leave. It was about 10 minutes to walk back to the apartments and we were all praying for a swim. 

Passing all the souvenir shops, the attractions, fashion stores and restaurants of many cultures on the way towards the apartments, it seemed that you were immersed in 'tourism' itself. Misato right-wheeled into a bottle shop and returned with a 6 pack of Tsiao beer and a 24 pack of various soft drinks. Across the road was the back entrance to our apartment building, all of us itching to splash in the lukewarm waters of the pool. I noted that there was no wind at all to cool me down. Just pure heat. We walked through a small tiled hallway to a set of 2 elevators. We called one and as it descended, I went around the corner past the 1st elevator to have a look. It was another stretch of hallway, leading to the main lobby. On the right hand side, there was a glass door that read: "Spa, Indoor Pool and Sauna." I looked inside. I could make out the pool through the steamy glass. The spa also. There was a gym and a small games room with early 90's video games. I heard the 'bing' of the elevator, so I broke out into a jog and followed behind Shinji as he entered the elevator. We all arranged ourselves inside, and I pressed the button for the 10th floor. Misato read the number on her key. 

"Its number 35 A & B." She told. When the doors opened we were greeted with a view of the main shopping streets. There was a clock tower in clear view and the only prominently named building was the 'Chevron Renaissance.'

Misato had found our apartment. It was 2 doors to the left, on the opposite wall to the elevators. The key was turned in the lock and the door eased open. There was a small tiled room, with our bags along one wall. There were another 2 doors; one marked 35A and one 35B. Auska said at an unnecessarily loud voice: 

"A is the girls room!" 

Misato seemed to agree and she unlocked the door. There was a fairly small sized room behind the door. 3 made-up single beds lay head-against the left wall. At the far end, there was a sliding glass door that looked like it lead out on to a balcony. Next to the door on the left was an en-suite bathroom. Simply a shower and toilet, with the usual vanity and the marble imitation surfaces that usually imply a hotel room. The beds were covered with a summer like colorful bedspread with pillow covers to match. Parallel to the middle bed was a cabinet with a TV on top. In the corner, between the bathroom and the nearest bed was a sliding door, covered with a mirror. It must be a closet. The girls chose and claimed their beds and began to unpack. Misato tossed the key to me and I unlocked the 'boys' room. It opened to a large living room, complete with TV, sofas and a dining table. There was a kitchen attached to the wall, surrounded by a 'L-shaped' bench. The sofas were made of cane, as with the dining room table and chairs. They were covered with a soft mattress-like pillow. Around the corner from the kitchen was a hallway that leads to the same balcony that the girls room had access to. The right wall in the hallway was littered with doors. One leading to a toilet, one to a bathroom, one to a laundry, one to a closet and the last door, the one next closest to the balcony door, led to a bedroom. With 1 single bed and 1 double bed. There was also a mirror-doored closet and another door to the balcony. I walked out on to the balcony and stared over at the beach. It was massive. You could not see from end to end. I panned my view from the left towards the metropolis of buildings on the right. Rei and Auska were standing beside me, leaning on the balcony railing, as was I. Enjoying the view also, from their expressions. The kind of ones that were straight faced and distant. Slowly I returned to the bedroom. There wasn't much action going on in the room, like a large dilemma had surfaced. And it had. 1 single bed and 1 double bed. One of us was going to have to share a bed with another one of us. It would have been the right thing for me to offer to take the double bed with someone, but I was a bit worried about seeming too eager to sleep with one of my _male_ friends. In all times of deep thought and concentration, my brain started repeating_ "Rock and Roll! Hey! Rock and Roll!_ After my 'deep thought,' I came up with a great idea! Coin toss! But there were 3 people. I fished around in my bag and pulled out a deck of cards. I dealt 2 to each person and said that the person with the lowest number got the single. Shinji fanned out his 13. I had a 12. Kaworu held the decider. He showed an Ace of Clubs. Not a good sign for us. Then he flipped over his 3 of hearts. He had 4. He already had sprawled himself out over the single bed. A joke was in order. 

"Isn't it your turn to be on top tonight Shinji?" My comic genius was met with applause of silence. Then a voice sounded out across the rooms. 

"Ready to go to the pool?" 

I forgot! I instantly tore my board shorts out of my bag and dashed off to the toilet to get changed.

After a moment or two everyone was ready, bar Misato. She said for us to go down, she would be there in a few. So we did. Towels over our shoulders we boarded the elevator and plummeted downwards towards ground floor. Bach music was playing in the elevator and I listened while staring at the advertisements that were affiliated to each of the 4 walls. Tearing down the hallway like there was no tomorrow, we bolted towards the pool. Seeing the blue-green, crystal clear, calm water, our legs were moving at an almost in human rate. Judging when it was the best time to leap, I sprung off the hot tiles surrounding the pool and flew through the air. It felt like a century, waiting for the cool water to engulf my person. Eventually, my vision cut out for a very brief as I felt myself plunge into the cool depths. It was so quiet underwater nothing but my thoughts and I. The silence was knifed by other bodies impacting with the surface of the pools water, all within a few moments of each other. The air in my body began to rise me up towards the surface, bubbles racing up around my. I burst my head out of the water, took a large breath and cleared the hair and water out of my eyes. I focused and looked out for the other surfacing heads. Rei hadn't actually entered the pool fully; she sat on the side with her legs in, moving them back and forwards like a walk in outer space. Not even her tight, black, one-piece swimming costume had a drop of water on it. I couldn't help but study the curves on and around her body. She noticed I was looking and we made eye contact. I turned away quickly as if I had just been glancing about the place. Kaworu's head erupted out of the water, his hair covering almost all of his face. He swept it out of the way, and smiled before gulping down a mouthful of air. Shinji then popped up at the same time as Auska, both of them puckering their lips and spurting out the water in their mouths like a mermaid fountain. 

I laughed as I flipped myself over on to my back and slowly paddled around the pool, squinting to block out the glare that was radiating from the sun. It almost felt like heaven. Or what heaven should be. The water was the perfect temperature; my ears were submerged so I could only hear the light splashing of the water and the sun warming my body to a sleepy, relaxed state. I enjoyed feeling drowsy; to me it was pure relaxation. I rolled over one more and duck-dived downwards to the bottom of the pool. When I reached the bottom, I spread myself across the sand. It was slightly cooler down here, but it was warm enough. The sounds of the above world were blocked out and I closed my eyes for almost all sensory deprivation. Well, self-deprivation. I held myself down for as long as possible, but my lungs began to ache for the air above my sanctuary of peace at the bottom of the pool. Head upwards to the surface, I rose up like a sluggish torpedo. 

I repeated my clearing of the eyes and focused again. Facing towards the apartment building, the ground covered with a light haze, the blurry images slowly coming together. Misato was walking towards the pool with a half smile painted on her face. All movement in me drained out. Misato's walk was so female. One side of her hip coming forward, alternating with each step with her legs never separating too far from each other. She was wearing a tiny leopard-skin bikini, hugging her body like her skin. It was almost nauseatingly good to look at her advancing towards us, I having to adjust myself slightly to allow better comfort for the reaction happening 'down there.' It was too good to carry on with any other action. I walked out of the pool slowly and laid myself out on a plastic deckchair. The plastic was burning hot, but I was oblivious to the fact, my mind too busy soaking in the image of the goddess, slowly and gracefully brest-stroaking through the pool. She went around in random circles, stopping every now and then and treaded the water. She climbed out, then perched her self on the edge near the deep end. She pressed both her hands together above her head and launched off upwards. Her body changed to a downwards slant and dove into the water. The image of her body became distorted, then became a yellow, wobbling puddle on the bottom of the pool. I'd never forget it.

I soon began to feel the heat again, so I returned into the water. The cool liquid once again embraced me and I slowly made my way over to Rei and tried to talk her into the water. It eventually worked; she eased herself carefully in and plunged under. When she surfaced again, she looked at me a smiled, as if to say thanks for convincing me in. We swam for an hour or so, splashing each other and admiring Misato. Well, I was at least. However, I did notice Shinji was swimming a little uncomfortably, but checking for a hard-on wasn't something I was prepared to do. 

****

When we grew tired of swimming, I did a little reconnaissance with Kaworu. A nice way to relax was our target and it seemed we found it. The sauna and spa we passed earlier looked like a good option, so we returned to the pool and informed everyone of our idea. It was a popular one, so we dried off a little and made our way inside towards it. Upon reaching it, Misato removed her room key from her towel and was about to open the frosted glass door, when she noticed that the sign on the door, underneath the labeling of 'Sauna and Spa' was a male symbol. She unlocked the door for us and the girls set about finding their sauna and spa area. It was difficult to breathe in the steamy wet air, but we eventually got used to it. Inside the large room was a medium sized pool in the shape of a kidney and up next to the convex of the pool, was a slightly elevated spa. The room smelled of chlorine, unlike the freshwater pool outside. The room's instructions were on the wall. They read:

' Welcome to the Moroccan Sauna and Spa room. Please observe the following: 1) Spend your desired time in the sauna, but not more than ½ an hour. 2) Enter the pool and de-heat yourself. 3) Then relax in the spa and repeat the process if desired. N.B: No clothing allowed. Thankyou for staying at the Moroccan." 

No clothing. The sign said 'No Clothing.' I looked around; there was no one else in the room besides us. But no clothing! You must enjoy the spa and sauna in total nudity? Everyone seemed a little bit nervous after reading the sign, but after a few awkward moments, we all agreed that we were all nude underneath and we are all the same. Which had me thinking, why was nudity such a taboo anyway?

After the hesitant process of removing our board shorts and towels, we made our way to the wooden door of the sauna. My fear of…'Inadequacy' had been crushed after seeing that we were all about the same size. I had never been in a sauna before, nor had Shinji or Kaworu. But once again there were instructions on the wall. After pouring the water onto the 'hot-rocks' and being engulfed in steam, breathing once again became difficult. But once I got used to it again, it sure was a relaxing experience. We chatted about what we'd do while we were on holiday and things to look forward to. We also forbid ourselves to talk about anything sexual for obvious reasons while we were nude. After the ½ hour of pure sweaty heat, we moved to the pool. After the heat of the sauna, the pool felt like a dip in the Antarctic oceans. My teeth even started chattering for a while and we were fully nude, so that didn't assist with warmth. The eagerness to enter the spa eventually forced my body out of the pool and into the spa, followed by the other 2. It was another change in atmosphere, being blanketed in warmth again; the spa jets stream of bubbly force separated the loose skin on my back. It felt like a massage. _I'd prefer it if Rei, Auska or Misato administered it though! _I made a light groaning noise, the force of the jets making it sound distorted. I scooped some of the water up and splashed it on my face. It stung my eyes a little, but it wasn't too bad. Kaworu had a small disposable camera and wanted to take a picture. He had an expensive model; it allowed him to set it on timer. He got up and placed it on the side of the spa then quickly returned to the water. I looked down into the froth to make sure nothing could be seen through the bubbly froth. Nothing could. We all put our arms on each other's shoulders and bunched together with large smiles on our faces. The camera made a final beep and went *click! * 

Chapter 2: The Chimes of Chevron Renaissance

I looked at my watch. The LCD display read 6:23 pm. A yawn stretched across my face, it had been a big day, and the sun was beginning to set. Misato said we go out to dinner tomorrow night, she just didn't want to this night apparently. I was sat out on the balcony, with my Walkman playing in my ears. I forgot I brought it with me, I found it stashed at the bottom of my bag, when I went hunting for one of my jumpers, along with my 2 of my favorite tapes. I found that I loved Japanese music, especially the soundtrack for Anime shows. I was currently listening to the Bubblegum Crisis 2032 music. The 80's styled pop sung through my ears, but not blocking out the beeping of the car horns and the hoons screeching their bombed up vehicles around the roads. I looked out into the abyss of dark blue that was the sea, the sun just sinking into the horizon. I became lost in time. When I decided it might be an idea to have a conscious thought. I took notice of my surroundings and found the area had been plunged into the black of night, the night lights glowing luminisant in the darkness. The air was still warm, and smelled of…I took two sharp sniffs, there was an appetizing smell, and I got up off my chair and spun around to look into the glass doors that viewed into the Living area. Misato had just put 2 plastic bags onto the low table by the TV. She looked outside at me and said 'dinner.' I couldn't hear her, but I read her lips. I had a stretch and pulled the earphones out of my ears, then grasped the door handle and pulled it open. Rei, Auska, Shinji and Kaworu joined me, as we all sat down at the same time. Misato removed 2 paper-covered mounds, then slit them open with her fingernail. It revealed a pile of chips, and 2 lengths of battered fish. Everyone tucked in, Misato only having 2 or 3 chips, then headed for the door, saying that she'll be back soon, just popping out for a nightcap. I had to explain to everyone what a nightcap was.

"Well, it's where you go out and have a drink in order to help you get to sleep."

"But it's only 7 o'clock!" Said Auska, "What's she going out at this time for!"

"Well, Auska…It's a excuse for her to go and have a drink at the pub."

"Oh." She replied. We went back to eating our chips.

It was an hour later, still no Misato, but we were all camped out infront of the TV. There wasn't enough room on the lounge, so Shinji and Auska occupied it, while, after moving the glass table, Kaworu and I were laid out parallel to each other, while Rei had her upper half of her body across my chest. Her arms were supporting her head; elbows rested on the floor. We made a kind of 'T' shape on the floor. I couldn't say I wasn't enjoying it. Almost so much, that I was oblivious to the TV. But it was ok because there was bugger all on. After enduring another 20 minutes of this televised crap, alternate entertainment was to be seeked. Auska's eyes widened as she came up with an idea. Strip monopoly. The 2 words didn't fit together. But she explained;

"When ever you have to go to jail, you must remove an item of clothing." She seemed the only person enthusiastic to play this game, but looking at the TV, it was an option. I don't think I could stand anymore of 'When Horses Tails Swish In A Funny Way.' The Chimes of the Chevron Renaissance struck 8.

** ** **

It was nearing the end of the game. Kaworu was winning, he owned about ¼ of all the properties and had a decent wad of cash piled infront of him. It was all going well for him, besides being shirtless. Auska's idea of having to remove one item of clothing every time you went to jail had no real element of the outcome of the game; it was just an addition to make it more 'exciting.' My comment; " You just want to see Shinji nude don't you Auska!" Allowed me to experience the feeling of hot wax from a candle being poured over my left arm as a result. I looked out of proportion, as my arm was a ripe pink colour after peeling off the solidified wax. But that was over an hour ago, and now I have a nice tan in place of the pink. I wasn't doing too badly in the game, and I'd only lost both my socks. Rei hadn't lost anything and Auska had to disperse of her bracelet and 2 earrings. She was wearing a dress, so she didn't have many chances to prevent reaching the more embarrassing state of undress. Shinji…Poor Shinji. He only had his boxers left. I felt so sorry that I gave him my 'get out of jail free' card…For 8 real dollars. The game was getting to the crucial point, where anyone landing on Kaworu's Tourist Hotel and Attraction complex of Mayfair would send them into years of poverty. Auska hit it first. I began to hum 'The Funeral March' mockingly. As irony would have it, I got knocked out next. To pass the next few minutes till Kaworu was victorious, I started to draw pentagrams on my chest with a pencil. Shinji made his full contribution to Kaworu's small fortune. Rei was the only player left, and every rotation of the board, she managed to dodge Kaworu's Hotel of Doom. I offered to make some tea, everyone politely accepted the offer. During my tea making, Rei finally stayed at the "Monopoly board's most expensive hotel," owner and profiteer: Kaworu Nagisa. The game board was being packed up, while I balanced 5 steaming hot cups of tea on a plate towards the table. I placed them down, then returned to the kitchen in search of complimentary biscuits. I found them and I distributed them amongst us. We all sat silently, sipping at our piping hot cups of English Breakfast tea.

** ** ** **

Tiredness began to sweep over us, it was 12:14 am and Misato still hadn't returned. Auska and Rei said their Goodnights and started to make their way to their room. I was thinking of making a rude and cheeky comment like; "Don't get to frisky will you now!" But I remembered the candle and decided not to. Kaworu, Shinji and I strode off to our room. Kaworu slid himself under the blanket under his bed, but his hands behind his head, closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relaxation. Shinji and I had to decide which sides we were going to sleep on. Shinji wanted the left side and I wanted the right, so there was no arguments. It was a different experience, laying in bed with someone else…I'd never done it before, for as far as I could remember…It certainly was going to be a hot night, especially with two peoples body heat in the one bed. I laid in the dark, thinking lightly about the day's events, then unbeknownst to me, me thinking ceased and I dropped into sleep.

Chapter 3: .44 And A Hangover

I crept forwards, towards the construction site office. When I reached the door, I plunged my hand into my brown jacket and took a firm grip on the black handle of my Smith and Wesson Model 29 .44 Magnum Revolver. I then clicked off the safety catch and raised it to a 'ready to fire' position, vertical to my shoulder and pulled the door open with furious speed. The man in the hallway started to spin around, revealing a 12-gauge shotgun in his hands. He looked surprised and fumbled with the shotgun, trying to fire it after pointing it at me. I had the drop on him; he was already lined up in the sights of my .44. I pulled the trigger, and then gun kicked up with a thunderous roar. The man with the shotgun took the round in the stomach, the bullet lifting him and throwing him back a meter or so, sending him smacking into the far wall. One of the men in another room had become alarmed by the shot and he burst out of one of the doors at the end of the hallway. He was shocked at the corpse, crumpled up by the wall. But before he noticed me, I vaporized his head with another shot. I then spun around as I heard footsteps advancing. I found myself staring down the dual barrels of another shotgun, manned by a grinning thug. The shotgun erupted in my face.

** ** ** **

I shot awake, my body pouring with sweat. That dream had been re-occurring for the last few weeks. But there was a problem that was more at hand. My face was covered in white, it was white for as far as I could see…And it was warm! Where was I? I detached myself from the back of Shinji, who was wearing a white shirt as he slept soundly. The room was very shallowly illuminated, the sunlight just peeking through the closed curtains. I could just barely see. My hand dived under the covers and I felt something wet. I held it up for inspection. It was warm and appeared to be dark in colour. 

Blood.

Lots of blood.

Lots of my blood.

And not in my favorite place for my blood, which had always been inside my body. This was outside my body, and there was lots and lots of it. I was soaked in the stuff. I'd been knifed while I slept. But who would knife me? I stopped counting when the list passed twenty people. Instead, I staggered out of bed and into the bathroom and reached for the light switch. I was going to look like a murder victim from a cop drama. I just knew it. I braced for a shock as I turned on the light. What I saw appalled me. It wasn't blood. It was something much worse. A warm brown substance covered my stomach, upper thighs and the side of my left leg. I'd lost control of my bodily functions. I gagged in disgust… But something was wrong. The brown stuff, it smelt minty. Gingerly- I tasted it. Not only did it smell minty; it tasted minty as well. Then I realized. I'd fallen asleep on one of the complimentary mints. The ones they leave on the bed after they make up your room. I made my way into the laundry, stripped off and loaded my clothes into the washing machine. I then crept back into the bedroom, so I could access some fresh clothes. 

After I had put them on, I returned to the laundry. I went to open the laundry closet for some washing powder. When I did, I leapt back as something large fell out of the closet and crashed to the ground. It was Misato. A small stream of drool trickled down the side of her mouth, also, her left hand was bound behind her back with thin rope, her right hand was holding a traffic cone and there was a 5 dollar note sticky taped to her forehead. I couldn't say I was totally shocked. Her eyes were open a crack, but you could only see the whites, the pupils and such were rolled into the back of her head. I grabbed under her armpits and dragged her to the TV area. I struggled to lift her onto the lounge, but I eventually did it. I was making my way back to the bedroom, when 2 thumps and a swishing noise sounded behind me. I was brought crashing to the ground, 2 strange, heavy moving things were pressing me to the ground. I turned myself to a face up position, where a strange squishy thing smothered half of my face. I thrashed and kicked until these things removed themselves from me. My eyes focused in on them, they revealed Rei and Auska standing over me. They had tackled me and I had a good idea of what that soft squishy thing was. I stood up, still a bit woozy from shock. While rubbing my eyes, Auska said Good Morning in a chirpy voice. Misato stirred and her eyes flicked open, her hand shot up to her forehead to remove the 5-dollar note and she probably discovered a splitting headache. Her eyes closed again after a long groan.

***

We sat up on the balcony, slurping our breakfast cereals from our bowls and enjoying the early morning view. The smell of salt coming from the sea was drifting around in the air. Cars were screeching around on the streets below, people slowly emerging to start the day. Not us however, we have to wait for Misato to recover from her hangover. We had returned her to her bed and had to be very, very quiet. I was wondering what she got up to last night, but it was probably better that I didn't know. Left hand tied behind her back, traffic cone, and a 5-dollar note attached to her forehead? No, it was better that I didn't know. 

According to Auska, today was going to be spent 'cruising' the shops. The fashion shops! The shoe shops! I had to escape, and Shinji and Kaworu wanted to escape with me. It was fair enough. We had to make ourselves scarce, and fast. When Misato felt better, we would be out and down to the shopping set, spending countless hours watching them ponder over garments and whether to purchase them or not. My fantastic idea of skipping town, state and country, flying to Switzerland and hiding there for a few days was not viable, due to financial reasons and Shinji, nor Kaworu knew what language they spoke there. I can speak fluent German, so Germany was considered, but the lack of finances popped back up again. There was only one option left…

I could barely breathe, it was dark and I was pressed up so hard against Shinji and Kaworu that I could feel their hearts pounding inside their chests. We were all hugging each other, so we could fit into the linen closet. Kaworu's breath was condensing on my cheek and one of my legs was interlocked with one of Shinji's. We all froze perfectly still when footsteps started to thud against the carpet outside the closet. A voice, most likely Rei's sounded out.

"I cannot find them!"

"Who cares! Let's just go without them!"

The two speaker's voices became softer to the point where I could no longer hear anything but murmurs. Then the sound of the front door slamming shut. I opened the closet door a crack, listened for a moment, then opened it fully. I made an attempt to exit the closet, but I forgot about Shinji's leg and went flying out after a too hasty step. My chin smacked down onto the adjacent wall's skirting board. There was a small lacing of blood oozing from my chin. After I got back on my feet, the 3 of us crept around the apartment to make sure it was empty of shop-hungry girls. And it was.

We were free! And we could do what ever we wanted! We ruffled through an idea or two; most of them being too expensive and we would probably get arrested for disturbing the peace. Instead, we went to look for inspiration. Down in the lobby, they had racks and racks of brochures for all kinds of different attractions and activities. Two of them caught my eye. I showed them to Shinji and Kaworu for approval. And they did approve.

*** 

We were armed with 200 dollars, a sense of direction and stunning good looks. Actually…We only had the $200. We'd been searching for this one shopping center that alluded us for over ½ an hour now. This one shopping center that contained the 'Surfers Paradise Shooting Range.' My trigger finger was getting itchy…Due to a mosquito bite and I had to chew it in order to stop the itch. Temporarily. We had passed intersection upon intersection of shops, again and again. All of them crowded with people, but luckily, we only had to hide from Misato and her gang once. I made a mental note to get my ears pierced before we finish our holiday. I also had to make sure I got the correct ear pierced. I can't have people thinking I'm something I'm not. Especially Kaworu.

My legs were becoming weary, so we stopped for a quick drink break. We sat on a bench, in the middle of a busy shopping center, guzzling our soft drinks. Except for me, I drank my extra strong ginger beer very slowly. I knew from experience that drinking it too fast could send anyone in the line of fire of the subsequent burp flying. I never found the taste for Coca-Cola; it hurt my stomach to drink it. I'd only ever consume it for the caffeine hit. And for what we had planned, shaky hands were not a benefit. We polished off our drinks and dropped them into the bin. When I was disposing of mine, I noticed the sign on the side of the bin. We were in the shopping mall that we had been looking for, according to the sign. It was only a matter of following the signs to the Shooting Range; it wasn't long to our target now! _Gotta love that pun!_

We climbed and descended several sets of escalators, circled around a few times, lost track of the directional signs and re-discovered our path a few times. It felt like years, but we eventually hit our target. _Was that better than the last pun? _The pistol shooting range…I felt like I was in Valhalla. Before my eyes was a wall, filled with every pistol I could imagine…They had 7.62-mm pistols to whoppingly gargantuan 50. Desert Eagles. We paid for our ammunition fees and were asked to take our pick of a pistol from the wall, after collecting ear muffs and safety goggles. We gazed up at the racks of pistols. Kawrou approched the man behind the desk. The man got up and pulled down a .45 ACP pistol, handed it to Kaworu then took him over to one of the shooting booths and instructed him on pistol operation. Shinji asked for a Glock. From what I could make out, it was a Glock 18, or a Glock 17. Could even be the .22, I wasn't sure. The desk man drilled him as well, but as for me, I couldn't decide on what I wanted. So many beautiful weapons.

A silvery glint caught my eye, a small, 5 round revolver was just pleading for me to use it. I was about to ask for that one, when I noticed the huge black revolver next to it. It was big. Big, black and with a wooden handle. It was the one, The Smith and Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver. Dirty Harry's gun in all its glory. Boy ooh boy was it big! I just had to try it. I asked the desk man if I could use it. He grinned as he pulled it down, looking like many people have asked just the same thing. He held it around the magazine with the hand-grip towards me. I took it from him and I was surprised by its weight, it must be weighing at least 1.2 to 1.5 kilograms, in its unloaded state. The desk man fetched a box of ammunition for my pistol. I picked one up at the firing bench and examined it.

It was about 3/4ths the size of my little finger. I was shown how to load and the fire the gun correctly. Shinji and Kaworu had already begun to fire. So I filled the revolvers 6 chambers with 6 bullets. I locked and clicked the magazine into place, stood in the correct firing position with my knees bent slightly, my right hand holding the gun and my left hand clasped around the wrist of my right, bracing for recoil. I lined up the paper target in the pistol sights. I was slightly nevrous to pull the trigger. _What if I couldn't handle the recoil? _I thought to myself. I imagined the gun flying out of my hands, clattering down onto the ground and firing off again, blowing one of Kawrou's legs clean off. _Nahh, that wouldn't happen! _ I stared down the sights and took a deep breath, easing the trigger inwards, watching the hammer drawing back, it nearly reaching the point where it snapped down onto one of the bullets. I braced myself and winced as I pulled the trigger back. 

I had the pistol pointing directly at the ceiling, the shot echoing in my ears and a stream of smoke floating out of the barrel. I drew my eyes onto the paper target. The space where the head was…It wasn't there anymore. The raw power of the .44 was amazing. A wicked grin streched across my face. I dementedly fired off all the other 5 rounds, then flipped the magazine outwards, watching all the empty cartridges clank to the floor. They were still wisping a light smoke.


End file.
